Get This Resolved

When marketing your writing detrimentally invades your life

This was my daily view.

And this.

Yet I could not get over the anxiety and the stress I was under. It hounded me every day, and I was physically uncomfortable, not just mentally. Writing for me is a panacea, a daily relief so large that I wish I had taken advantage of it decades ago. But I didn’t. In the Dominican Republic, there was an inner desperation to make up for all that lost time, to write as much as possible as fast as possible. Given that I was just beginning to tackle the motion sickness that pervades every part of my life, being a writer on a boat was no longer easy. It added to the stress.

It was my husband who finally decided I needed to get to the bottom of the problem. He has seen me with and without writing, and he knew there was something more that was lingering underneath all the anxiety. And he was right.

“Resolve this,” he said. “Whatever is going on in your head isn’t helping you.”

I am one of the very lucky few who do not need to make money from my writing. However, I am also one of the very unlucky few who believe that I must be excessively successful in everything I do. This creates a problem when my writing (a stress reliever) is combined with the marketing process for that writing (a stress multiplier).

My debut novel was released on July 1, 2025. It has been only ten months (10!) since I became a published author, and I have three books under my belt. It seems a bit surreal as I write this. The reviews are good. I get no trash on social media about my writing. It’s a bit mind-boggling.

Yet at the beginning of this publication journey last spring, I knew that the most difficult part of this entire process was not learning how to publish my work, but how to market it. I, like many others, abhor social media. If it did not exist, I would be the better for it. But it does, and I have to deal with that as most writers must. The concept of running ads is a necessary evil, but it still feels like it’s a crapshoot.

Thus, the inner war. The business side argued with the writer almost daily. The spiritual part covered her ears during their fights. And my husband looked on in dismay. I had already hired someone to help. It was great until our paths parted, particularly when my most important book, The Expedient Wife, was about to be published. Simultaneously, I learned that I needed thyroid surgery just before my publication date. More stress. More physical exhaustion. The process was months behind, and given my physical issues, I had no ability to catch up.

But it wasn’t the writing schedule that was the issue. My goal is to write three more books this year. I have two halfway complete and a third roughly outlined in my head. (That’s how I do it.) Everything for 2026 is right on track. So what was the issue?

It was the marketing. Just saying the word “marketing” makes me cringe.

So Me, Myself, and I had a meeting. We decided, with my husband as the mediator and negotiator, that being stressed over marketing was an absolute waste of time. Marketing is not difficult; my friends do it daily, and over time, I could learn to do this myself. While I might not be as successful as others, I could still do it. I’ve been the rainmaker at two law firms in my past, and I know how to bring in clients. Yes, selling books is different, but it’s still sales, after all. And I was reminded by Me that I had set up businesses before, and that right now, we were simply in the early phases of yet another start-up.

And the bottom line: I just wanted to write, regardless of what form that took.

So a new marketing person was found until I could physically get back on the marketing horse myself after the surgery. The Expedient Wife has been released, and rather than a short pre-order explosive marketing plan, we have a long, carefully planned movement forward.

Me is still a bit testy about not being more proactive with the marketing, but Myself is a lot more comfortable now that I can just write. She is just happy the fighting has stopped and she can go about her day. And I has a good handle now on how all three of us must move forward.

And the best result? My husband can finally relax.